Valentines set to sizzle

Bert Glinka says this is the real way to a man's heart.

By Rebecca Skilton

Say it with sausage.
That’s the romantic advice from woodsmoked specialists Bert Glinka and Brendan D’Amelio who say they have unlocked the salami secret to every Valentine’s heart.
The brothers-in-law at Uncle’s Smallgoods have swapped the traditional bouquet of roses for a choice of two beautifully presented half dozen and dozen stem sausage arrangements which are sure to impress and amaze a meat-loving special someone.
“The general response is that it’s great, that it’s really quirky,” said Bert, who added that social media had taken brilliantly to the concept.
“The orders placed so far are mainly by females buying for hubbies or boyfriends. A few have even requested to have notes included.”
For $60 a half dozen selection will deliver one kabana pork, one kabana turkey, one double smoked country sausage, half a kilo of beef brisket, an Italian salami and a French saucisson.
Alternatively, gift givers can opt for the $100 dozen stem bouquet, which includes two kabana pork, two kabana turkeys, one double smoked country sausage, half a kilo of beef brisket, an Italian salami, a French saucisson, a small ham and a streaky bacon pack.
As Bert explained, the idea for the meaty arrangement stemmed from a brainstorming session for Valentine’s Day and his own previous 14 February experiences.
“Why are we always the givers?” he said about the bouquets’ popularity as a gift for male partners.
“We’re always giving flowers. Why don’t we deserve something as well?”
With more than 20 years of “meatsperience”, the team at Dandenong’s Thomas Street deli have perfected the art of smallgoods, their handmade methods dating back to century-old Polish recipes.
They use Australian hardwood and the wood of fruit trees for real smoking.
“We’re passionate about making very high quality products without any of the artificial flavours and preservatives,” said Bert.
“We make good, old fashioned products.”
Knowing where all their ingredients come from is another important factor.
“We believe in locally sourced products.
“We’re all Australian made, with no fillers or flavour enhancers.”
With the purchase of a new Dandenong factory, Uncle’s Smallgoods is thriving and deliveries have spread to inner Melbourne.
“We distribute to a lot of high-end restaurants and cafes,” said Bert.
“We’ve recently been involved with the Grand Hyatt and Park Hyatt.”
While Valentine’s Day for Bert himself will involve a celebration of the newly acquired factory, he hasn’t ruled out a meatier gift.
“I’d love (a sausage bouquet)!” laughed Bert.
“Hopefully my wife has got the hint!”