Carer pleads for family help

By Shaun Inguanzo
A DANDENONG man who is caring for his mentally ill wife and son with cerebral palsy while battling his own illness wants the State Government to fund extra respite care.
Jim Demetriou says his carer duties are so demanding and respite care so sparse, that he has had to sign up for Centrelink benefits to cover loss of income.
The music teacher has aspirations of taking his business beyond his own living room but he hardly has the time.
His wife Irene suffers from bipolar disorder and the couple can only obtain two hours of care each week from local service Eastern Regions Mental Health Association because mental health resources are so tight.
The shining light and motivation in the Demetrious’ lives is their son Arthur whom Jim described as an absolute miracle.
But doctors – who grimly predicted the couple would never have a child – have diagnosed the five-month-old with cerebral palsy and have told the Demetrious that Arthur will one day be wheelchair-bound – posing more challenges for them.
“But what people say and what actually happens are two very different things,” Jim said, noting that Arthur had so far met all of his developmental milestones.
Looking to the bright side and never giving up hope is Jim Demetriou’s defining characteristic.
Jim said he was battling his own blood disorder while caring for his family.
He said he had no qualms caring for his family but extra respite would make life easier and allow him to bring in a greater income.
“There are 168 hours in a week and while with all services combined we get up to 10 hours of care that still leaves 158 for us to endure alone,” he said.
As part of her disorder, Irene spends roughly six months being depressed, followed by six months being manic.
The testing and ongoing disorder either leaves Irene unmotivated or overstimulated, and Jim must often work less to ensure his beloved wife stays on the right path.
The impact of sparse respite care extends beyond the couple’s immediate family.
Jim said they had lost mutual friends over the years who failed to accept or understand Irene’s condition.
“I hope a mental illness never happens to them or their family but I think no one is immune,” he said.
“We, unfortunately, live in a black and white world where we either accept people or we don’t.”
But the dedicated father and husband said Irene’s mental state had never been a barrier to true love.
“When Irene came along in my life it was not a case of the illness, it was the person behind the whole thing,” he said.
“She said our relationship would be everlasting, not just for this life but afterwards, too.
“I knew then I was dealing with a person of great substance.”