A spot of comfort when the chips are down

Meredith Gourlay, Dani Wales and Ramon with children Luke, Michael, Daniel, Steven and Andrew. Picture: SEAN MCDONALD

By Cam Lucadou-Wells

Meredith Gourlay and her family were due some sort of stroke of fortune.
The Dandenong family, who have endured unspeakable grief, were recently given a new outdoor deck from woodcare-product company Cabot’s.
They also received complimentary eight-seat table, plants and fittings professionally styled by TV personality Dani Wales.
Cystic Fibrosis Victoria had nominated the family for Cabot’s Dream Decks for a Cause program.
Ms Gourlay and her family were rocked by an awful 2014 in which her son Peter died of cancer and then her husband Trevor was struck by a fatal heart attack.
Since then, she’s continued raising her five children, each with steep personal needs.
The eldest are Michael, 10, with ADHD and cystic fibrosis, and Daniel, 7, who is Peter’s twin and has high-functioning autism.
Her other children are Luke, 5, with a heart murmur and chronic anxiety, Andrew, 3, with cystic fibrosis and the youngest Steven, with autism and a hearing and developmental genetic disorder.
Through all this, she learnt to treat each day as a blessing, not a curse, she said.
Her mother told her on the first anniversary of Peter’s death that she had to learn how to live.
“I’d be otherwise dishonouring Peter because he loved life,” Ms Gourlay said.
“He loved everything about everyone, even loved going to school.
“I look at my children and think we have to keep going forward.”
In the meantime, her ex-husband Ramon stepped in for support and now is a live-in partner.
“He held this family together while we grieved and bought normallity and fun and laugher to our lives,” Ms Gourlay said.
“Our relationship has blossomed through the grief.”
It might not surprise that the family had an eventful Christmas – Ramon broke his leg and Daniel was hospitalised with a burst appendix.
But for a grateful Ms Gourlay, the deck has given the family new life.
It allows her to do daily physiotherapy in a spacious, outdoors space with Michael and Andrew.
And it also gives her a space to unwind with a wine each night, looking out at the adjoining paddock and bushland.
She chose a blue colour for the deck’s fittings, in a nod to Peter’s favourite colour.
Dani Wales said Ms Gourlay was a “trooper” who deserved everything good that came her way.
“I couldn’t grasp how one person could be affected by so much emotional hardship and still be functioning in everyday life, let alone caring for five young children.
“I hope Meredith and her family enjoy spending time together on the new deck.”