Christmas tears

By Shaun Inguanzo
FAMILIES for whom Christmas is a painful reminder of their children’s deaths gathered in record numbers at Springvale for a touching remembrance ceremony last Sunday.
The Springvale Botanical Cemetery hosted the Children’s Christmas Remembrance Service in order to ease the pain and suffering that the families of children buried at the cemetery endure every Christmas.
The cemetery’s CEO Russ Allison told Star that the ceremony was in response to the large number of parents, siblings and grand parents visiting the cemetery every year in the lead up to the festive season.
“Funeral directors WD Rose approached us and said we should do something special for all of the families,” he said.
The first ceremony was last year with 150 people – but that number was smashed by an attendance of 400 people at this year’s ceremony.
The pain of losing triplets while on the IVF program still rang true for Rowville’s Fiona Molloy, who along with other parents placed a card on a communal Christmas tree and lit a lantern in memory of her miscarried children.
“I lost the triplets in April 2000,” she said.
“Then my husband left me on the day they were due to be born. The pain was indescribable.”
But Ms Molloy miraculously conceived naturally two years later to another partner and said she was blessed with her daughter Mackenzie now two years old.
Narre Warren woman Rhonda Mavromatis and her family remembered 15-month-old son Jack William Martin, who died three years ago.
Ms Mavromatis said the purpose of attending the ceremony was not only to remember her son but also to realise there were others experiencing similar grief at Christmas.
“It is such a hard time and every special day is difficult without him,” she said.
“Being here allows you to see that others are going though the same situation.”
Bentleigh’s Josephine Elmer lost her nine-year-old son Sebastian in 1999 and was at the ceremony with daughter Kathryn.
“We have moved on and are grateful for something like this ceremony,” Ms Elmer said.
“It helps get the festive season started by thinking about Sebastian.”
Ms Elmer said each family member decorated the home tree with a unique ornament and that they still hung Sebastian’s ornament every year.
“He is always there with us.”
Springvale Botanical Cemetery receives up to 50 children each year, Mr Allison said, many of them no more than four or five years old.
“All of these people here have lost a baby or a child,” he said.
To give families an all-year-round method of remembering their children, Mr Allison said the cemetery purchased the naming rights to a star from the International Star Registry and called it Eternal Light.
The evening concluded with short but sharp fireworks display followed by supper.