Tasks such as lifting granddaughter Ebony are becoming increasingly harder for full-time carer and grandmother Joy Denman. Picture: Stewart Chambers.
By Shaun Inguanzo
A DANDENONG grandmother has started a support group for grandparents caring for disabled children to battle a lack of State Government aid.
Joy Denman, 59, has cared for her granddaughter Ebony, since the now nine-year-old cerebral palsy sufferer was removed from her parents at just 13 months of age.
Mrs Denman has learned to live with the knowledge that she will never enjoy a carefree retirement as she struggles to cope with the physical and psychological demands of caring around the clock for Ebony.
But despite the burden, Mrs Denman is not as concerned about caring for Ebony as she is with the State Government’s treatment of family members who take custody of disabled children.
A lack of funding for physical aids, including for a hoist system that would relieve the grandmother of lifting Ebony each day, means Mrs Denman must source the money herself to ensure that she remains healthy enough to care for her granddaughter.
As reported in Star last week, Dandenong Police members have come to the Denmans’ aid.
A total of 22 officers will run in the Melbourne Marathon in October to raise upwards of $15,000 to purchase a track and hoist system for Mrs Denman’s bathroom.
But Mrs Denman said while she would always feel indebted to the police force’s generosity, it was a sad indictment on the State Government that disabled children and their carers could only receive necessary help through extraordinary acts of community support.
Mrs Denman is the founder of the Grandparents Support Group, which, as its name suggests, is a support group for grandparents caring for disabled children.
She said the number of grandparents caring for disabled children was alarming, and was often the result of alcohol and drug problems with the parents.
Mrs Denman said grandparents found it tougher to cope with the task of caring for a disabled child due to a lack of support and their own age and physical limitations.
“If you are a parent and have disabled child then normally you’ve got others you can rely on for help,” Mrs Denman said.
“You’ve got the grandparents and the siblings of the disabled child who can contribute and help.
“But when the grandparent is the sole carer, then the only others you can rely on are respite workers.”
The group has been active for four years, and Mrs Denman said it involved grandparents from Narre Warren, Cranbourne, Dandenong and Cheltenham.
“We grandparents are lifting these children, we are carrying them, carting them.
“We are nurses, doctors, mothers, and are up all night when the kids are sick,” she said. “We go with them to hospital and stay there, lying on makeshift beds in there because they can’t speak or communicate without our help.
“I often sit on the bed and cry and think, ‘I got through this day, what will greet me tomorrow?’
“When you know the kids need something and don’t know where to get funds from and are told the aids and equipment waiting list is years, you just pray that your own back, hips and knees keep lasting.”
Mrs Denman said it was time for the State Government to help grandparents such as herself and to recognise the important role they played in caring for children such as Ebony.
“The Government should accept us for what we are doing, and that is saving the community hundreds and thousands of dollars,” she said.
“If these kids were placed in foster care then the foster parents would get everything on a platter.
“And so they should – they do a wonderful job for the community – but we are too, and we don’t have to do this, but are doing it because we love our grandchildren.
“We want them to still be part of the family.”
To join the Grandparents Support Group, phone the Carers’ Respite Centre in Dandenong on 9212 3000. Donate to the Ebony Denman Appeal, run by Dandenong Police Acting Sergeant Mark Robertson, on 9767 7487, or email mark.w.robertson@police.vic.gov.au.
