By Cam Lucadou-Wells
Jen Harwood believes family violence can be quelled within her lifetime.
As a survivor, the 48-year-old motivational speaker uses her talents to confront what is a blight on thousands of families in the South East.
She gave an impassioned keynote address at Walk against Family Violence in Dandenong on 21 November.
An event that attracted hundreds, including workers from Greater Dandenong Council, Australian Taxation Office, Centrelink, WAYSS Housing, Victoria Police and Dandenong Market.
“As a society, we’re just starting to wake up,” she told Star News.
“Women have more power than they ever had.
“Yet I’ve met women who have been in abusive and violent relationships for 30 years.”
She has seen attitudes towards drinking, smoking and cancer changed markedly. So too it will change for family violence.
“This is going to take at least a generation.
“It’ll happen in my lifetime but it’s going to take quite a while.”
Young people have watched their parents treat each other badly but are looking at the world differently, Ms Harwood says.
“They’re not drinking nearly as much as we were.
“They’re looking at being in the world, how they can make a difference, connect to each other and have a happy life.
“I have a lot of hope for the future.”
What it will take is for men and women en masse to say ‘It’s not OK’ and to talk about the issue, Ms Harwood says.
“I know my seven-year-old daughter won’t tolerate any behaviour like that.”
Ms Harwood said she was excited to no longer be a victim but to be a support for women.
She urged people to ring their local police station’s family violence liaison unit.
“This is the place to start – you’ll get put through to someone who knows about this.”
But it was necessary to have a plan – get support, get a psychologist, get a child psychologist, get money for lawyers and get a thick skin.
“You’ll be pulled back by emotional triggers – this is the man you loved, you had a child with him.”
Then there was the need to overcome shame, not to suffer in silence.
“You’ve got to talk about it with someone. Shame is going to hinder your freedom.
“It is a real process to leave and to build your life up for yourself.
“You can’t do this because I told you to. You have to want to change it deep within.”
