Emily Chapman Laing
With hundreds of children having experienced Joan Esmarie Graham’s compassionate care, it is no wonder she has been awarded the Medal of the Order of Australia during the King’s Birthday Honours.
Joan was awarded the OAM for her service to children as a foster carer.
“It’s incredible,” Joan said.
“This is an amazing award for something that I’ve been doing for so long and truly love doing.”
Joan said she has given care to over 500 children between when she began as a carer in her early twenties, to now, celebrating her 81st birthday.
“It was about 300, 10-20 years ago,” she said.
Joan and her late husband Brian began fostering through the Herald Blair Aboriginal Society (HBAS).
After over a decade of care, the duo moved to OzChild when the HBAS closed down.
“I cannot think of a more worthy recipient of the Order of Australia than Joan Graham,” said OzChild Chief Executive Officer, Dr Lisa Griffiths.
“I couldn’t be prouder to see her recognised in this way, and the children, young people and families whose lives have been touched by Joan’s kindness will no doubt feel the same way.”
Dr Griffiths said Joan has welcomed hundreds, if not thousands of children and young people into her home, some for one night, others for weeks, months or a few years.
“Committed to keeping siblings together Joan has cared for countless sibling groups during her time as a carer with OzChild and has always worked hard to reunify children with their families whenever possible, because family is everything to Joan.
“Joan and her late husband Brian welcomed every child into their home with open arms and no judgement.”
Over forty years later, Joan’s home has seen countless children and sometimes parents who needed a safe haven.
Some stayed for a short time, while others, such as Jessica, Ryan and Shane, came to live with Joan permanently.
Jessica and Ryan were four and five years old when they came into Joan’s care and are still part of her family now in their thirties.
Shane was seven years old when he arrived, and now at 45 he wouldn’t change a thing.
“My dad was neglecting me and my mum wasn’t in the picture, I was passed around family members and I ended up in foster care at Joan and Brian’s in Hampton Park,” Shane said.
“When I was a teenager, I wasn’t the easiest, I had mental health problems and anger rising to the surface from my childhood.
“To me she’s my mum, she was really strict but fair growing up which was what I needed.”
The relationship continued after Shane hit adulthood and was no longer part of the system.
“When I wasn’t in the foster system they still looked after me as one of their own,” he said.
“Watching them give selflessly to other people was ingrained into me which is why I ended up a Forensic Mental Health Nurse.
“Mum would always say to me you “You can do whatever you put your mind to” and that encouragement has gotten me to where I am today.
Joan was drawn to fostering from a young age.
As part of the Methodist youth group, Joan would frequent a Melbourne orphanage to spend time with the children.
She also came from a family with a heavy community focus.
“Growing up Mum and Dad used to take the children from that orphanage and give them a holiday during the year,” Joan said.
As she welcomed her own four children into the world, they grew up alongside the foster children under Joan’s care.
“I’m 58 now and I don’t remember much of a time without kids,” Joan’s daughter Leanne said.
“I remember one time my sister Michelle and I went to bed, and the following morning I put my feet out of bed to get up, and there was a mattress with three little girls on it.
“But that was common, and we made way for them.”
Leanne proudly explained how her mum was able to change history by offering care not just to a child, but to their parents as well.
“There was a baby that was likely to be put up for adoption, but mum helped the very young parents learn how to care for the baby,” Leanne said.
The young mother made the decision to keep her baby after spending the weekend with Joan.
Joan had a penchant for taking on more difficult cases.
“I really enjoy a challenge,” she said.
“I’m prepared to put the work in that some of these kids need.
“It’s so sad, some of these children have just been to hell and back.”
Despite any past troubles, Joan always cared for her foster children for who they were after they walked into her home.
Joan said she always felt “really chuffed” seeing how far some of the children came after time under her care.
Living on land, with access for the children to animals, books and entertainment were key elements in Joan’s triumph as a foster mum.
“I always had a bookshelf full of books and a playground outside,” Joan said.
“And animals are so giving and so relaxing for little kids who have had trauma.”
Joan and Brian faced their fair share of challenges as foster carers, sometimes feeling the all-too-familiar hip pocket pinch.
“It was very tough at times,” Joan said.
“You’d be amazed what you could do with a pound of minced beef and some veggies.
“But the kids never went without.”
Joan said it was common for her foster children to have come from environments where a full lunchbox for school was a luxury.
“One boy told his mate at school that I must really like him, because I sent food to school with him,” Joan said.
“Sometimes the kids really can’t express themselves, but the things you do for them makes them feel wowed.
“Every good ending is a real sense of achievement,” Joan said.
Joan and Leanne explained the “need is so great” for foster carers, now more than ever.
“As long as you’ve got patience and time, the rewards are amazing,” Joan said.
Joan has been a Board Member for the Foster Care Association of Victoria as well as a member of Foster Care Focus Group.
Joan is a 46-year-long member of the Country Women’s Association (CWA), a Lion’s Club and Hampton Park Community House member and a life member at the Dandenong Agricultural Society.
She is a current CWA Group President and Former Branch President, but will step down from her present position in the coming weeks.
